Every year

Every year on this day is a sad day for me. Normally on the 27th of a month I consider it a lucky day, but may is different. May is different because one of the closest friends I ever had was born on that day.

Me and blue knew each other for about 7 or 8 years and I have always said i regarded her as my best friend at the time. We would talk about music a lot and as such I think that’s why music has become one of the most important things to me.

I had always hoped blue would be one those people I would know all my life. But hopes don’t change the flow of time. Blue died about 7 years ago now and every year since she is always in my thoughts on what shall forever be to me her birthday.

It’s hard for me to talk about and it still affects me to this day. I don’t think I’ve told many people this but when I had to go into hospital at the end of last year, the night before I had a dream. And although it was a really nice dream it was bittersweet. I dreamt she was still alive, and we were closer then ever, she’d never had the leukaemia that killed her. It was such a nice dream and yet it made me all the more nervous about the operation. Not because I was scared of death. Because I was scared of what was after death. You see I would live to believe there is an afterlife where I could see the people I have loved and lost over the years but I have major doubts about it. If there isn’t I’m comfortable-ish with it. I’ve grown to accept it most likely isn’t there and is just something to reassure people who are scared of dying. But I want it to be there so I can say all the things I never got to say to Blue.

RIP Blue, you are forever an inspiration.

how i feel at work most days…

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�I have a secret, I cannot say,
A modern movement to give it all away.�

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XL is my size and could i have a blue one please you awesome best friend you :D xxx

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#SWAGRID

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I’ve really missed the Internet the past three days.

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Debaser vs. Invaders Must Die - The Pixies/Prodigy

This is filed under ‘Ass-Kicking Music’

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